A big event of the special kind is coming up during our time in Kathmandu: Binu, Laxmi’s younger sister, is back for a visit in Nepal after four years in Australia and combines the long vacation with a splendid wedding. The preparations are hectic and elaborate and also we have to dress up for the big day.
Laxmi and BK whirl around for a few weeks between work, family obligations, arrangements with the wedding palace and debauched shopping trips, but there is nothing left of the circles under their eyes on the big day.
Louie and I lend a hand where we can. We fry nuts, crackers, and flatbreads, try our hand at assembling small plates from special leaves (largely unsuccessfully), and decorate the garage in Kusunti, where Binu gets a gorgeous henna painting on her hands and arms the day before the wedding.
On the big day, everyone dresses up in their ceremonial attire and we are amazed at the gorgeous saris and jewelry that the women in particular wear. It is a bit as if we were at a princess wedding in a storybook. Gold (whether real or artificial remains to be seen) and glitter and flowers and exuberant hairstyles and handbags and heeled shoes and fine fabrics and and… While the bride Binu has been busy with elaborate Hindu rituals since dawn, the prince aka Pradip only arrives around noon with much fanfare in a horse-drawn carriage. Pradip is a fellow member of the elite and as such is offered this gig by his employer. A brass band including a tambour provides loudly for the acoustic background; some family members dance in front of the carriage and the prince, who finally gets out of the carriage, also offers a proud sight. He is greeted honorably by Binu’s father and family members and soon we lose track of the sequence of rituals and program points.
Princess Binu and Prince Pradip spend some time sitting in front of a foot bath, where all the (new) family members wash their feet and offer their congratulations and gifts. At the same time, the party palace turns into a huge food court. Eating is the main activity at such a wedding here and the central program point for the invited guests. The buffet has to be varied and plentiful. And really: The approximately 500 guests do not let themselves be offered twice and shamelessly fill their plates with the delicacies! What we assume to be the main course turns out to be merely an aperitif…
We are there, looking and marveling, taking pictures, being photographed and I meet quite a few people I know from previous visits to Nepal. This is Chris, who already ran his internet cafe in Lubhoo 14 years ago. Rama, Sita and Mamata, who taught at Narighar until a few years ago and so were part of La Dhoka. Aunts and uncles of Laxmi and Binu, whom I have met on various previous occasions. Children who now tower over me by a head and are actually already young adults.
At some point, the groom and bride celebrate their departure in the carriage, only to emerge half an hour later for the next, lengthy ritual. It is now time for the fire ritual under the richly decorated wedding mandap in the forecourt. This open canopy is decorated with cloths, banana leaves and bouquets of flowers, and a fire has been smoldering among the pretty mandala ornaments under the cloth dome since early morning. The two priests carefully guide the bride and groom as they offer ghee (butter), grains of rice and various seeds to the sacred fire, seemingly for hours. Lengthy passages are muttered in Sanskrit and the mandap wants to be ritually circled seven times.
Some guests watch the rituals, but most are still busy eating. The brass band punctuates the proceedings every now and then with a pumping melody, and the relatives and friends of Pradip, who have to rejoice over the new bride, put on a sweaty dance.
The ceremony does not end until darkness falls. If we understand correctly, Binu and Pradip are now officially husband and wife. The two are put into a car decorated with flower garlands and we wave goodbye to our Binu. She is now going to her new home and we will only get to see her for a visit. Pradip’s family is now her new family. The home of her childhood is from now on her “Maiti-Ghar” – her “girls house”, to which she of course keeps contact.
But Binu would not be Binu, if this arrangement would not be a little different: In less than two weeks she flies back to Tasmania, where she intends to continue working, and Pradip flies back to Lebanon a few days later, where he is stationed as a blue helmet soldier between Lebanon and Israel. Where their future together will be doesn’t seem to be quite decided yet. But the fresh couple convinces us. They will go their way!
Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)